By Paul deVere
(CH2 Magazine, February 2009)
DOCTOR, DOCTOR, GIVE ME THE NEWS!*
—from Robert Palmer’s 1979 hit, “Bad Case of Loving You.”
(*Heads up. Robert Palmer, age 52, died of a heart attack. Guess who wasn’t taking his low-dose aspirin?)
What is all the fuss about? Over half of the adults in the U.S., between the ages of 19 and 64, have adequate health insurance. Those uninsured and the so-called “underinsured” (42 percent— 75 million of our “fellow Americans”) are just whiners. The solutions to this questionable “problem” are staring us right in the face. I’ll get to that in a minute. First, let’s take a look at the phenomenal success of the fastest growing sector in the American economy and how you can make big bucks there. That skyrocketing, almost unbelievable sector? You guessed it: health care.
Like they say on those financial shows, “Let’s do the numbers.” At the end of 2008, the 404 companies that make up the “health care” sector, according to that left-leaning magazine, Business Week, actually rose by 2.01 percent in the worst market since the Great Depression. Talk about a growth industry! No need to ask where you’re going to put your 401k (or what’s left of it).
Then there is the fact that about half of those “whiners” (see above) don’t go to a doctor until their (avoidable) condition gets bad. The drug companies love that! The sicker they are, the more pills they have to take—the real expensive ones. Another investment opportunity!
Here’s a little tidbit that should put you in the “optimistic about health care” camp. Those “underinsured” wimps, according to that Socialist rag, The Wall Street Journal, spend about 10 percent of their total income on health care. Just think if everyone had to spend 10 percent of their total income on health care. Our GDP would go through the roof! Keep the “underinsured” underinsured. They’ll spend us right out of this recession.
Speaking of GDP, here’s a quick little quiz. (Answers follow.)
- Health care spending in the U.S. is what percentage of GDP?* A. 4.7% B. 15%
- Military spending in the U.S. is what percentage of GDP?* A. 4.7% B. 15% Answers: 1. B; 2. A
- National Coalition on Health Care, 2008.
You guessed it. We’d have to be in two, maybe three more wars to catch up to health
care! Wow!
I promised simple solutions to the “problem,” and now you’re going to get them. Let’s look at average life expectancy. According to the CIA Fact Book, you can figure, on average, you’ll arrive at room temperature when you’re 82.67 years old, if you lived in tiny, beautiful Andorra, which has the highest longevity rate of all U.N. member countries. Your health care is covered by the government, which accounts for 7.1 percent of GDP of this country (gained independence in 1278) between France and Spain. (It’s also a good place to stash the fortune you’re going to make investing in health care part of your portfolio. Probably replace your pork belly futures, for health reasons.)
A little closer to home is Canada, ranked number 10. There you’ll last, on average, 80.34 years. Spending on health care is 10 percent of GDP, and the government takes up about 70 percent of the costs.
Now, the U.S., on that chart, is ranked at number 30. If you get past 78.06 years, you’re beating the odds, and we know (now) we’re spending 15 percent of GDP on health care, of which the government finances about 46 percent, one way or the other.
Solution #1: Our first move to solve our health care “problem?” Make Canada our 51st state (which would, in terms of land mass, put those Texans and Alaskans in their place). Benefits: incredibly cheaper prescription medicine (how do they do it?) and cheaper doctor bills (Canadian doctors make about 50 percent less than U.S. docs on average). Some people don’t like Canadians because they talk funny and don’t tip well. But just think; we would no longer have to worry about illegal aliens crossing over Canada’s borders. They would be our borders! This is win- win.
Next, we make Andorra our 52nd state. After all, their constitution actually guarantees health care for everyone! The skiing is great and there is no income tax! We adopt the health care part of their constitution, our health care costs are cut in half, and everybody’s covered!
Solution #2: Finally, let’s tackle health insurance itself. Just for kicks, I got quotes from some folks who offer “affordable family health insurance.” For a family of four, in good health, the premiums ranged from $750 to $1,250 a month, all with a $1,000 deductible, an individual deductible for each member of the family. An overview of what was covered by this “affordable health insurance,” fit in two paragraphs. What was not covered went on for five pages. I’m not making this up.
And I found out that if you can actually afford “full coverage” health insurance, you might want to check the fine print. Say some drunk driver decides you and your family would look really neat in full body casts. There is a good possibility your insurance company doesn’t cover various body trauma injuries (as many as 78 percent don’t) and you’d end up having to file for—yet another new term in health care vocabulary — “medical bankruptcy.” Don’t even talk to me about cancer and heart attacks. Whew.
Now, one of the main reasons insurance companies say that premiums are so high is the cost of the help. Like doctors and nurses and all those people at the hospital running around in scrubs. They may have a point there. So do I!
Solution #3: It’s time we brought back the nuns. When the nuns ran hospitals, just about anybody could be treated. They were always happy to see you, and the bills weren’t too bad. They didn’t need CAT scans and MRIs. They prayed for you. They worked long hours, didn’t make much money and always seemed to be on call. Like the Sisters of St. Francis, or even better, the Sisters of Charity. They don’t need a résumé; it’s right there in their name!
I bet bringing back the nuns would cut insurance premiums in half. There, see how simple that was.
***
An addendum, 15 years after this “essay” appeared.
While the conclusion of the above “essay” (nuns) was meant to sarcastic and/or satirical and/or true, I ran across some factoids by writer Amy Brooks (not a nun), in a 2016 article in the blog, “Churchpop”. I am now convinced my solution to the continuing problems with healthcare costs, wasn’t so absurd. Check it out:
Throughout the 19th century and at the dawning of the 20th, Catholic nuns founded over 800 hospitals, and over ten thousand elementary and secondary schools, and hundreds of colleges and universities. By 1917 their hospitals accounted for half the American health care system. Via St. Mary’s hospital in Rochester, MN, the Franciscan sisters helped create the Mayo Clinic. A Sister of St. Agnes made the founding of AA possible. Back in 1871(!), at a hospital founded by a Sister of Mercy in St. Louis, MO, the first prepaid (read “affordable”) insurance plan was developed. In 1894, at a nursing school in Philadelphia, founded by Franciscan sisters, the first “family-centered” and “holistic” approach to nursing was introduced.